Friday, March 29, 2013

Conflict Of Interest - Chapter Twenty One

I'm bord and the guys are no fun right now. They are playing games and watching tv. "Hey Alex, you want to dance?" I ask being cute. To my surprise he takes me up on the offer.

Me and Alex are having fun dancing together. He can really dance which takes me by surprise. 

I actually find myself happy for once. I almost feel guilty about it but shrug the feelings off. When the song ends I thank Alex for the dance.

Heading to the launder room I decide to do some laundry. I finish filling the washing machine. When I turn around I see Alex. 

He takes me by surprise as he pins me to the wall. I'm so freaked out by this point that I can't figure out what to do or what to say. 

"Emily, you have me under a spell," Alex says as he holds me into place. I put my hand on his shoulder to push him off but decide against it by the look he's giving me.

"Alex what are you doing? Let me go," I say with clinched teeth. He finally lets me go and I march out of the room. I find myself standing in the living area brooding. My mind is racing as my anger is getting the better of me. What the heck was he thinking. 

Alex joins me after a few moments. He cautiously walks over to me. Coming to a halt in front of me. I can now see that he's hurt. To my surprise again he wraps his arms around my waste and gently pulls me to him. 

He leans me back as he stares down at me. I'm speechless. Oh this is bad, really bad. I'm no longer mad but confused. 

"Emily, why won't you date me. I can give you the world. I have never met anyone like you," he says as he holds me.

"You don't understand Alex, I just can't see you in that way. I don't want to love anyone ever again. I just can't open myself up to it. It's just too painful," I choke out. I know deep down he's disappointed, and I know he's probably hurt by my response but I can no longer pretend. 

He's quiet for a moment as he looks away. "I didn't think of it that way. I was hoping in time you would come around and maybe give me a chance to make you happy," he says as he let's me go and pulls me upright. 
I'm shocked. I don't know what to say to that. After what seems like a eternity I manage to find my words. 

"I wish I could, but I'm a broken soul. I will never be the same...I deserve no one.  Alex, you deserve someone that can love you back. I can't give that to you. The last thing I want is to hurt you. And if I said yes I would do just that," I tell him. He frowns as he takes in my response.

"Emily, you deserve someone, I know in time you might love me once your heart heals. I know right now you can't, but one day you may," he says. "I won't, trust me, I know this to be true," I reply. I pull away from him as I try to regain myself. I leave him standing there in the living room with a sad expression on his face. 

I can't think of anything else to tell him. I'm just lost for words for the hundredth time. As I make my way out of the room, I find myself in the kitchen. I slump against the wall as I now feel drained.  I close my eyes as I start to relax. I hear Alex talking to Chris.

 "What can I do to win Emily over?" Alex asks. Are you kidding me, advice from Chris, I don't want to be won over. "Alex, dude!" Chris huffs.

Alex is quiet for a moment. "Oh I see. I get it now," he says. What does he get, and what did Chris tell him. I didn't hear him say anything. Did I miss something. Oh the questions run through my mind. What are those two up to?


Thursday, March 21, 2013

Life Goes On - Chapter Twenty

It's been two months, and night after night I'm startled out of my sleep with horrible dreams. I see their faces, hear their screams. I jump out of bed as my heart slowly starts to slow.

It takes me a few moments to realize that it was a nightmare. I shake off the sick feelings that it leaves on me.

I'm wrung out and distraught.  I hate myself and everything that I represent. I wish I was someone else right now. My tears start again for the hundredth time. I'm so tired of crying all the time. Sometimes I wish they would have killed me along with everyone else.  

I try to shake the feelings that I'm having. So I head down stairs to watch some tv to try to distract my thoughts.The distraction doesn't last long as the dark thoughts claim me again. Everything on tv just reminds me of my family or a fond memory of them.  

My tears start all anew. I'm lost again as I see them all again.  

Chris pulls me from my dark world. "Emily please don't cry. I hate to see you cry. Please talk to me," he whispers. 

"I can't get it out of my head. I hear their screams in my nightmares, see their faces as I watch them die over and over again. I can't handle this. I can't go on like this," I sob. 

"They're going to find us, I just know it. I just want all this to be over. I don't want to be scared all the time. I think if I had maybe distracted them........ that Dimitri would still be alive and with us. Or they would have killed me and I wouldn't be here living in this nightmare that I can't wake up from. 

Chris pulls me into his arms to comfort me. "Hush, it's going to be alright. Maybe not right now but we will get through this. We can start a new life. One that we can leave our old lives behind and start a new". My tears start again. A life without my family, friends and Dimitri. Chris pulls me closer and I for once find a little hope, a new life with Chris. Can I do this?

As daylight approaches I head into the kitchen and start to prepare some breakfast. It's been part of my new schedule. I have come to find out that I really enjoy cooking. 

As I take out some more ingredients from the fridge, I find Chris is cleaning up the kitchen. It's so weird seeing him do dishes and cleaning. At one time it use to be all about working out and doing guy things. How things have changed in just a short time. I push those thoughts from my mind as I continue cooking.

I finish the pancakes and set them out on the counter for the guys when they are ready to eat. Me on the other hand, I'm ready to dig into them. I'm so hungry that its almost carnal.

My pancakes have turned out pretty good. Each bite brings pleasure to my mouth.

After I eat and clean up I head to the game room to play some pool, its distracting enough. I find that I'm getting really good at it. I didn't realize playing would be so much fun.  

"Can I join you?" Alex asks as he walks over to me. "Oh, I'm not that good. I guess it would be nice to have someone to play with," I reply as he grins at me.

I set up for a shot and do pretty good. I'm still no match for Alex at this game. I sink a few as he smirks at me.

He sets up to win the game. Without taking his eye off the ball, "I arranged for you some new clothes and stuff. I hope you don't mind. I had them put in your room," he says. What! He did what. Oh my. "You didn't have to do that," I whisper. "I know I don't, but I enjoyed it really, I just don't want to offend you. It's just me being nice," he adds. "Thank you," I reply.

After Alex beats me at pool I head up to my room. When I open my closet I'm shocked to see it's full. I know he didn't have to do this but this feels too much. I pick out a swimsuit and head to the pool.  

I will do some sunbathing today or go for a swim. I'm to scared to go anywhere else, so spending time at Alex's house is my safe zone. It took two weeks to stop jumping at every sound. But the thoughts are still there. That one day they will find me.  

After laying and dozing for a few I decide its probably a good time to have a dip in the pool. 

Alex grins at me as he gets out of the pool and heads to the diving board yet again.

He dives in making quite a splash which makes me giggle a little. I decide to try it myself. I walk out on the diving board as it wobbles and I'm sure I look silly almost falling off of it. Here goes nothing. I leap off the board and do a belly flop. Ouch.

Chris is in his own world right now reading, in the pool no less. I still have no idea why he does it. So Alex and I try to stay to the other side of the pool to keep from getting Chris and his book wet.

"I know I haven't been very friendly or even talkative. I just wanted to say thank you again for letting us stay here," I tell Alex. "For you anytime, no rush to find a place. Your always welcomed here as long as you want," he tells me. After a short conversation, I head inside.

Alex has a piano very similar to the one we had. I sit down and begin to play. I must have played several songs before I noticed that Alex was standing listening to me. "That's very lovely, I can play a little, but you, you are amazing," he says.

I get up and walk over to Alex who is standing in shorts now, he must have changed his clothes since I have been playing. Why does he always seem to be topless around me. Geeze its so distracting. "Emily you know I have never met a girl like you, beside the whole fairy part. I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date with me," he asks. Oh no, I stop breathing.  

I've lost my words, sense of speech has gone and left me. I don't want to hurt him since he's been so nice to me and Chris. I could never love anyone else  "I......well, om. I don't," is all I get out when Chris enters. 

"Hey Alex, can I see you in the kitchen," Chris says with a bad look on his face. Shew! I let out a breath that I must have been holding while trying to tell him that I can't see him like that. That I'm broken and will never be able to get past that. 

I can't help but spy on them, what in the world could Chris want to tell Alex that has him so disturbed. "I can see that you like Emily, but don't! She's been through hell and back and this is something that she can't handle right now. She might not know this herself but she's barely holding on to her own sanity. What we went through, was hell. I know I was suppose to give you details but I just couldn't even bring myself to talk about it", he tells Alex.  

"I know it was bad, and well I respect that. Maybe if I know more about it then I would understand what you and her are going through. Maybe even help," Alex says. "I think you will help if you don't pursuer her like that. That would indeed help," Chris tells Alex. I had no clue that Chris had not told him about what happened. 

"Ok well you know shes a fairy, but shes also the princess to the slaughtered family a few months ago. They did say that they figured she was dead even though they couldn't find her body, well we managed to escape but the rest were not as lucky as we were. She watched her sister that was presumed dead, that had been turned into a Night Walker, murder her boyfriend right in front of her. She watched her whole family, friends all be killed. We would have been too, but................some of the others arrived giving us a window to escape. They gave their lives up for us. And one of them was my girlfriend. So yes that's why neither one of us talked about it. Alex's mouth is on the floor. He's gaping at Chris. "You should have told me. A princess, are you kidding me. I had no idea. I read about it, it was a horrible crime. I will back off, but you can't blame me. She's sooooo hot!" he grins. Oh no, he thinks I'm hot. My heart sinks.

I run a bath to make myself feel a little better. Oh the water feels so good.

After I climb out I set out the clothes and begin to put my makeup on. My face has finally healed and I look almost myself again. I feel like I have aged a hundred years but for the most part I look like me. 

I almost feel normal but not yet. Maybe its time for me to start to live this new life that was given to me and make the best of it.  

I pull my hair up and its strange looking at myself in the mirror. I haven't looked like this since. Stop it Emily, I scold myself. Not bad I think as I step back looking in the mirror. I get dressed and head downstairs. 

 The clothes fit perfectly and I feel much better. 

I run into Chris in the living room and he's gaping at me. "You look amazing," Chris whispers. 

I grab Chris and give him a big hug. "Thank you for doing what you did. I can never repay you for your kindness. And well,... keeping me from going insane," I tell him. "I would do it again, and will always keep you safe," he reply's.