Saturday, January 31, 2015

Conditions - Chapter Forty Three

Sound asleep I'm jolted awake by Dimitri thrashing around mumbling in in his sleep.

I carefully reach over to nudge him from his nightmare. His eyes come alive as he regains his thoughts. Pulling me to him he crushes his lips to mine taking me by surprise.

What was your dream?" I ask him.

 "I lost you. I was plunged into darkness that I couldn't find my way out of it. It was if I was reliving my worse nightmares. How it was in the beginning," he tells me. I hug him tighter. Running my fingers through his hair, I can feel him relax.

Dimitri pulls me into his arms and nuzzles up to me. I can feel him drift off to sleep. And before I know it I fall asleep. 

"It's morning already," I say as I wipe my eyes. 

Sitting up I stretch and notice Dimitri's no where to be seen. 

I feel so alone and can't come to terms with all this. My wings are gone and dimitri is normal, I might be dieing and its uncertain if he can make it back in time to save me or even cure me. Am I doomed to die this young and alone. I wait a few minutes and hear nothing. I'm going to go find him. I bet he's taking a shower.

I head downstairs to the bathroom and hear the water running. 

"I woke and you were not there," I say as I place my hand on his shoulder. He flinches and I feel that his skin is damp. He's shaking and keeps his back toward me. "What's wrong" I ask him. He doesn't say anything for a moment. Then his voice has a cracking sound. I've just had a rough night. 

"Turn around" I ask. He hesitates and then when he turns his face is really pale. He has dark circles under his eyes. "What's wrong with you?" I ask as my voice gives me away of the fear laced in my tone. "I've went to long without blood. My body needs it from time to time. I will need to go to my aunts house when she gets back." he says casual.  "You look like your in bad shape", I say. "Don't worry Emily, I"ll be alright", he says trying to reassure me. "No you won't, I can see it. I won't loose you again," I say.

He sighs, "Emily it's nothing, really," he says. "It doesn't look like that to me," I say. 

I reach out and touch his face. He's clammy and sweaty. "Talk to me. Don't keep things from me," I whisper. 

"Don't worry, I just haven't feed in a bit, I'm ok," he says. "You haven't feed, if you don't feed you will die. Why don't you feed off me like you did Jen. Let me take care of you," I say. It seemed like the perfect solution to the problem. But of course he had to have his say in it. "Emily you know I can't do that. You and Jen are different. You have the fairy blood and its addictive. I don't think I could stop," he says. 

I pull him into my arms and hug him tight. "I know you would never hurt me. If anyone could control themselves with me it would be you," I say. "Emily its not worth your life. I will find a way to feed. I just need time," he says. 

He swings me into a dip to lighten the mood. I know he's trying to distract me and it's working.

"You said you would feed and it's been a few days and it looks like your getting worse. The veins are getting darker in your face and your eyes are dark. Your wasting time you could just drink from me and it would be done," I hiss at him.

"Emily calm down its not that big of a deal I said I would deal with it I just haven't gotten to go to my grandmothers, she's out right now with her feeders. They will be back soon," he says in a calm voice.

"But your getting worse and what if you get so sick that its to late before they get back? Why are you being so stubborn?" I shout.

"Emily, if they are not back soon I will go and find someone to feed off of. I'm not feeding off of you, that is final" he says as he looks almost defeated in his expression which makes me feel bad for yelling at him. I know he's been this way for over a year but still it makes me nervous to see him like this.

The next morning I wake to see dimitri still sleeping.

 He almost looks dead and my heart stops. I scoot over and place my hand on his head. He's cold and really pale. His skin almost looks like its glowing. I figured he would wake up with me touching him but he hasn't moved.

I jump out of bed and head to his side of the bed. 

As I make my way to the side of his bed I hear myself calling his name.

Before I make it to him he leaps out of bed with almost a startled look.

"Why are you yelling at me?" he says. "Dimitri you scared me. Your glowing and I think you are not well anymore." I say as I get closer to him.

"Emily, I'm still here. Don't be scared. I can deal with this. I will contact them today," he says as his eyes melt me.

He goes to walk away and I grab him. Holding him tight to me. "I can't loose you. If something happens to you I would be lost and all alone," I say as I take in his smell.

He turns around and regards me carefully. "So you are willing to risk your life to make me well? Why do you do these things to me?" he says.

He leans into me and grips my shoulders tight. "Hold still and don't move. This will be painful," he says as his mouth nears my neck.

He then leans me back and I brace myself for his bite. I know its going to hurt but I'm willing to do this for him. He's my soul mate and I can not be in this world without him.

As I prepare for the bite, without warning he shoves me backwards and I fall to the ground. "I can't do this," he says as he holds his hands up in defeat.

He falls to his knees. I scoot over to him and he pulls me into his arms. "I love you Dimitri and all I want to do is take care of you," I say as I stroke his cheek.

"I know but its too risky for me. I'm to weak and I don't know if I have the strength to stop. In other circumstances I might be able to but I think I let it go to long. I need a human normal feeder. I just don't want to loose you," he says. 

Bravely I move my hair bearing my neck to him. "No, I can't. I will not drink from you", he shouts. "You can, take what you need to make you strong enough to hunt. You can't go out this weak. I had no idea you were starving yourself like this." I say as I pull him to me.

 "I was so happy to have you back that I had forgot when I last feed. I won't be able to stop Emily, what if I can't. What if I go to far. It's not worth it to me. I would die a thousand deaths before I hut you". He says with pain in his voice. 

"For the love of god, Dimitri you need me, I won't loose you". I pull him closer even though I can feel him trying to strain against me hes to weak to resist. 

I sweep my hair out of the way and push my neck at him. He groans. "I can't Emily". "Yes you can. I love and trust you".

"Hold still, don't move. This will sting for a second. Then the the pain will disappear. Ready?", he asks with a nervous tone. "Yes" I tell him as I prepare for the bite.

I feel his lips touch my neck and the stinging pain rips into my neck. I feel his teeth sink into my skin. I can't help but let out a cry. He tenses but keeps his mouth on my neck. He makes a low groan as his body gets the blood it needs. Hes getting stronger and I can feel myself getting weak.

"Dimitri I think that's enough," I gasp as I push at his shoulders. He grips me harder and his mouth is sucking harder. "Dimitri stop, please," I beg as I hold onto him. I feel myself slipping and I know it will only be a matter of time before I slip away. It's the fairy blood, it's got a hold of him and now it's holding him hostage. I slump against his body as my body feels so heavy.

"I love you, I always have and will always," I say as I fight against the darkness that's trying to claim me. I can't, I must not give up. I let my hands find his hair. His silky dark hair my fingers tangle into his long hair. I love him so much, I throw my head up as I cry out. Not any words but just a cry of love, everything I have ever felt for him.

A bright light fills the room.

Then there is a explosion that slings us with such blunt force.

 I feel myself fly across the room.

Dimitri flies in the opposite direction from me.

I hit the ground with a thud and everything goes black. 

I must have been out for a bit. When I come to its all foggy and my vision is blurry. My body is aching and I feel cold. All the way down to my bones. Something isn't right. 

I manage to push myself up to a sitting position and lean against the wall as I try to focus. The sound is buzzing in my ears. 

I try to get up but find I have no strength in my legs. I try to focus around the room. Everything is still all blurry.

 I look and finally spot dimitri across the room he's laying still on the floor. He's not moving at all. The exposition must have knocked him out like it did me.

 My vision still improves and he finally moves. He slowly sits up and I'm shocked at what I see. Can it be?

He moves slowly and gets to his knees trying to get his bearings.

When he looks up he's beautiful, all normal. His brown eyes not ringed anymore in red. Is he cured? "Dimitri!" I choke out. 

When he looks at me his face turns to horror. What could be wrong. And then it all goes black. 

 I can't move or even open my eyes. My whole body is numb feeling and lifeless. Whats wrong with me I ask myself as I try to will myself to respond. The shock of seeing dimitri normal flashes before me and the site of his brown eyes, his horror and pain in his eyes break into my very soul. I can hear loud sound but can't make it out.

 My senses are coming back and I can feel that I must be in the arms of Dimitri. He's squeezing me tight and I can feel his breath on my neck which has to be bleeding from his bite. Oh no the bite. Am I dead.

 I can feel the tears dripping down on my shoulder as hes sobbing. He's saying something but its all muffled to me. Wake up Emily I will myself to move or even twitch any limb I have to let him know I'm still alive. The sound becomes clearer and I can hear his pleads. "Emily please, please don't leave me. I'm so sorry I didn't stop. I wasn't strong enough. Please don't die," he pleads. It breaks my heart that I can't tell him I'm here and that I can hear him. But I'm a prisoner to my own body. Why won't I wake up.

 I feel him lift my lifeless body up and we are moving across the room. I'm screaming in my head now. Dimitri I'm here. I'm still here. I'm not dead....But no words come out.

 He lays me on what feels like the bed and I feel so cold. But my body doesn't shiver. I'm lifeless. Am I dead and waiting to pass over? I don't see any bright light to walk into and I'm still in my body. Maybe I'm only half dead. I hear clicking sounds. Dimitri is doing something as he paces the floor.

 "Chris, yeah its me, Dimitri. How fast can you get over hear. I have a problem and I think I might have killed Emily," he says in a panic.

 "What! you did what? I'm on my way," I hear Chris shout through the speaker and the phone goes dead.

 What seems like a eternity and pure torture of Dimitri's panicked state I feel like I'm going insane. The door flies open and I hear Chris's voice. "Dimitri what did you do?!" he shouts.

"I'm so stupid, really stupid. I let myself go to long without feeding. I put it off and was only thinking of the new life me and Emily would have. I hadn't feed since Jen and that was to long," he explains. 

"Jen! That's been way to long Dimitri. You should have been dead already from starvation," he says. 

"I know it was foolish and to late. Emily begged and pleaded with me to feed from her. I thought I could stop with her because of the love I have for her. I didn't know how weak I was and I just couldn't stop. I tried but it took a hold of me faster than I could handle and I was lost. But then something happened. We were blown apart with a force so strong that it only could have been magic. Now I'm normal and shes not responding," he says in a panic as he tries to relay everything to Chris. 

"She's still breathing but barely. And her wings are gone. No light to her at all. I have never seen anything like it," Dimitri tells Chris. 

"Let's take a look and see what we can figure out," Chris says as he follows Dimitri to the side of the bed. 

I can feel Chris stretch me out and he's feeling my forehead. I don't have a cold, I say to Chris in my head. "She's cold that's not good. Breathing good, I thought you said you bit her. There is not a mark on her neck," he says as he continues to examine me. 

"You don't think she lost her light, you know what makes her a fairy. Maybe you killed her but didn't maybe somehow she gave you her light, her life. Maybe its just a matter of time before she dies and this is your time to say goodbye to her," he says. I start to panic. Die my last moments now, this can't be real. I don't want to die. I can't. 

Then something comes over me. I feel strange and something is ripping through me. My eyes shoot open and I see Chris, Dimitri and then.................

I start to scream. My body is on fire. I'm burning all over. It's ripping me apart. I rip at my throat to breath but I'm suffocating. Is this the end. I thrash at my neck and I can't stand it. I'm going to explode. Everyone in the room is screaming with me.